I often find myself saying “so, now is time to do THE work” to people who have reached out to me, who have hit a wall, and are upset or in emotional turmoil. Often I hear back “but what is that?” or “I don’t know what to do,” or “where do I start?”
This piece is taking a step back and looking at how I got to the point where I had to do “THE work”, and how I tackled it. What does doing the "inner work" mean? What is self-development all about? At the end of this article I reveal a series of before and after pictures.
At some point enough is enough. It certainly was for me. My will power kicked in and I began to untangle the cellular web of mess my world had become. My life purpose was lurking around, tapping me on the shoulder, but the life I was leading was preventing me from opening up into a new life, I couldn't even dream of what it could look like. I just knew something had to shift.
“I had gotten myself deeply entrenched into a UK-wide social scene, of all weekend parties, drugs, alcohol, weirdness and madness. No regrets at all. I have had a colourful life, of alternative culture, art and rebellion. Now I see the sad drain on the youth’s energy and on my own energy in those circles over the years, a waste of our creative spirit on an endless mirage of smoke and mirrors. ”
Originally I learnt to navigate this world majestically, the queen of fancy dress, organising matchmaking at festivals or working with welfare teams of people to help party-goers that could not navigate the scene with grace-: welfare with feather boas. You can get lost in this world. I think you get a sense of belonging, there is a semblance of a community. I experienced how volatile and conditional it was. As I opened up to my vast spirituality and raised my vibration, I became naturally high, and any substance would bring me rock bottom down. I realised that what I had been trying to feed (in all the wrong ways) all along was my cosmic visionary nature.
Drugs can be mind expanding but only for so long. Social scenes based on those shared highs and lows are unstable. Living for the weekend, means you are not living for the here and now, the only place that happiness resides in. Don't get me wrong, I worked hard at University, and in all my jobs, I led an almost double life, of a high achiever & party animal. Looking back I fearlessly believed that I was in the right place for me. Sometimes I could see that only being able to speak to people about party orientated shenanigans closed off 99% of the population but I would soon put that thought aside.
My illusion started to crumble and I started stepping in the right direction when I realised that I had healing hands. Finally a purpose appeared: that I could help people. A deep down spark of passion ignited in me. I realised that these social scenes were incredibly fickle, I had enough of being chewed up and spat out on a number of occasions. That people are not really being themselves. Was I even being myself?
“You become unfeeling towards your own needs, your body, your pain, your community and Earth. Desensitized and numb. There is nothing balanced about reaching heady heights and devastating lows.”
A close friend Roz Pilling, who works with vulnerable adults in the community, commented that drugs become "a distraction from your true self, a form of escapism. People enter the drug/party/festival world exactly because they're disillusioned by modernity and crave 'something more' to menial existence. A high proportion of people engaging in the spiritual world quite possibly had their eyes opened from drug use. My dissertation 'Mysticism, Esoteric Traditions and the use of Hallucinogenic Drugs in Spiritual Experience' demonstrated that in some esoteric religions or for people on a spiritual path drug use is a perfectly acceptable method (a key to the doors of perception) of 'waking up', the trick is to recognize when you're awake and then stop using the drugs (you've unlocked the door, you no longer need the key). To continue using the drugs is to be asleep again in a different illusion. Put the key down and step through the door!"
“ The ultimate achievement of liberation must occur through interior development that does not depend on the use of a plant or a chemical, although these may help in discovering the way”
My spiritual path really began when I laid my hands on a friend’s bruised head, an incredible dense calming energy came out of my hands, what a surprise that was. A week later I did my Reiki 1 attunement, assuming that what was coming out of me had to do with that. I started self-healing, I did a 1000 hours of Reiki on myself in 6 months. That changes a person.
At the end of those initial six months, one evening, I slipped back into an old habit, I spent a night doing exactly what I had wanted to change, falling back into old patterns. My higher self, or guardian angel, or some twist of fate made sure I fell down the stairs from top to bottom. Two years down the line I am still working on getting my back back to normal again.
This gave me the ultimate opportunity to do the self-work essential to becoming who I am now. It was the grand wake up call I needed to stay strong in my path (and my back now may always have that small twist to remind me where I need to be and where I came from). I was off work for 9 months, unable to lift or drive. So the self-development in earnest began, I had nothing else I could do.
With the daily Reiki I started to see how damaged my body was. My aura was completely frayed and unable to cope even a day. I had to fill it out with daily energy practice. Surely there must be a way around that? Spending so much time on treating myself was not sustainable. At this point it was absolutely necessary. If I didn't do it even for a day I would feel absolutely terrible, my vital energy would be leaking out, and I would be exhausted and irritable. Many people spend their lives thinking that this is their normal state.
My Reiki self-practice meant that I could fill out the protective layer of my aura and have a temporary protection for the day. (Now I know that that meant my etheric layer of my aura was damaged- next weeks blog will be dedicated to the etheric.)
Part of the Reiki attunements both one and two involved doing a 21 day detox and meditation. The one my teacher gave me at the time was a journey through the seven chakras, starting with the root up to the crown, and then starting at the root again, going through the 7 sets three times over 3 weeks. Each day, you focused on one chakra. Say it was the throat chakra you would meditate on any communication issues you had, or how it felt to not be heard, or to be shy, or to speak too much. It is looking at all the imbalances in your system with a fine tooth comb.
This is the KEY people. The idea behind this chakra journey is to bring up ALL of your scars, your pains, your joys, your memories, all the striations that have marked you and made you who you are, right down into the core of your being.
“ Sounds scary?”
It really is not. The worst that can happen is you really really sob! Maybe something comes up that has continuously hurt you for years and if you didn't face it, it would continue hurting you for many more. You bring it up. Write it down. Close your eyes and re-live it, make it huge in your minds eye. Feel it vibrate in you, shake with anger, cry with pain. Turn it into a shape, a colour, an object, name it.
Once you are sat inside this scar, you hold it, with love, and whisper softly to it "thank you 'thing' for all you have shown me, I forgive you, I love you, I release you, I let you go forever and with love. Goodbye." Or something to that effect. You watch your scar melt, dissipate, fade, sling shot out into the cosmos. Sigh with relief. If it doesn't shift in the first week, write it down to be followed up for a second sitting.
Doing this for 21 days for 15 to 30 mins a day is maybe a commitment but incredible transformative. In no way am I suggesting you do Reiki to embark on this journey, you can do the 21 days without it for sure. It is not even essential to do the 21 days to make a start in moving out of a lifestyle you have had enough of or that is damaging you, whether it is the party scene, workaholism, or a life of anger and bitterness and unhealthy relationships.
“What I am getting to is that changing your life can be set off just by sitting in your pain. Daring to FEEL IT. It may be the ‘dark night of the soul’ but the light at the end of the tunnel is vast and bright.”
I have toned things down a little for this piece, I never do things by half, so I really really went for it. I constructed a full on Heroes Journey for myself. I did not only do the 21 days chakra meditation and the keeping of the journal. I also studied the Major Arcana of the tarot, one card a day for the 21 days, to add a bit of magic to the journey. As well as detoxing from all processed foods, sugars, coffee etc. Culminating in a liver flush. As well as carrying on with my daily Reiki self-treatment. So all in all my 21 days were a magical mystery tour of my inner world, a total purge. Such energetic freedom was gained. It was like stepping out of prison).
I did not do it alone either. I had a wonderful friend, who I dedicate this piece to, who did the same program (he did not do the Reiki attunement though.) We were not sitting together to do "THE work", but once a day we would call each other after having meditated on the chakra and contemplated the card relevant to the day. It was a fantastic support to have someone to call during all the purging and madness and I am very grateful for the process we shared.
These were really the firsts steps I took in breaking habits and making new ones. I made new friends, and new lifestyle choices. I started afresh.
Even with all that effort I still had some glaring issues. My etheric layer was still blown, so I had issues maintaining my energy levels. I still had some life-long entrenched negative thought patterns constantly in my head, which led to low level depression. They were centered around low self-esteem and lack of self-belief. I still had uncontrollable sadness and anger about several issues that would not shift. As well as being unable to stop smoking.
Apart from the etheric layer being damaged the rest were patterns of behaviour imprinted at a deep cellular level, that luckily my hard work had revealed to me. But what to do with them?
“ I held my hands up to the cosmos and said “Now what????””
In good time AuraTransformation landed on my lap, I had been doing "THE work" consistently and was ready to commit fully to a new life. The literature held the solution to the remaining questions and blockages I had.
Overnight my energetic boundary became strong and protective. I no longer leak energy. My skin looks clear and fresh. I am free of negative thought patterns. I stopped smoking overnight as the energetic imprint of the habit was uprooted during my AuraTransformation, and I have never looked back.
I found complete forgiveness and compassion for myself and others around my anger and sadness. I no longer live in illusion or look for escapism! There is nothing to escape from when you are fully in your body.
There are many options in changing your life, embarking on self-development, of sitting and doing "THE work." I am in this world to help people move forward in their journey. I had that wonderful support from my friend and I propose being that person to you, whether it is a once a week catch up or every other day phone call. Get in touch to see what we can arrange to help you get started. I am happy to help, and to prepare you for the ultimate advance in your evolution in the AuraTransformation. If you have done loads of self-work the AuraTransformation will really be the cherry on the top of all your hard work.
Maybe you are reading this, or you have met me, or AuraTransformation has appeared in your field because you asked those very questions I did? Maybe you have been looking for a way out?
A fresh start is possible!
Love Sarah